Almost two years ago I rented an apartment in Queens with my then boyfriend. We had a tumultuous relationship that resulted in the decision for him to move out a year later. When he was leaving he told me I could keep the security deposit. (Verbal agreement, nothing in writing) Fast forward to 1 1/2 years later and I randomly received an email from him asking for it back. I didn't respond and received a phone call a few weeks later. I was too scared of him to remind him of what he said and simply told him I didn't have the money and I would sort something out in the future. Almost 2 years now and he's back knocking on my door for the money. I finally decided it was time to remind him of our agreement and while doing so I simply told him I didn't have the money and even if I did, why did he tell me I could keep it and now almost two years later start harassing me for it. He told me he said I could keep it because he was "stressed" and he's had time to think and reevaluate the situation and "changed his mind." I told him it wasn't my problem and that I would readdress the situation when I move out and receive it (if I do) myself. In the time that this man has vacated the premises (and long before he started asking me for the money after changing his mind) I had an option to resign. I resigned with only my name on the lease.
After thinking he had left me alone, accepting I would be in touch when I eventually move out I received a text message from my landlord with a copy of an email this man sent to him in which he stated I have yet to return any of the security deposit to him (he paid the deposit in full with a money order) and also demanding the landlord inform him immediately upon my decision to move and vacate the premises so he could find me. I immediately emailed my ex and the email exchange got ugly. I reiterated to him that I didn't have the money and that he told me I could keep it when he moved out so naturally I'm confused by the recent harassment and change of mind regarding said money. I also restated that I would readdress the situation when the landlord returns the security deposit to me. Besides creating a circular argument and making jabs at my character, putting me under mental duress not unlike that which I experience during the relationship, I'm now concerned my ex might be so calloused as to try to take me to small claims court. Does anyone have any advice? I never even said the security deposit wouldn't go to him. I just don't see how I'm responsible to return this money to him A. Right now and not when (and if) I get it back B. To someone who said I could keep it and then flippantly comes after it almost two years later and C. How I'm responsible to give someone money I'm not even sure will be returned to me before I receive it.
The way I see it, he's obviously an Indian giver. And he reliquished his right to the property when he moved out of the apartment with his name still on the lease for one year. Help. I need some advice, any so that I can reduce my stress level and go back to sleeping in peace.